A book that deeply impacted my spiritual development as a new Christian, in my late 20’s, was: Life Together by Dietrich Bonheoffer. This book challenged me with the concept of solitude and aloneness; penetrating concepts that jarred my mid 1970’s lifestyle of people, places and parties. His chapter, titled, ‘The Day Alone,’ and the following chapter, ‘The Day Together’ troubled me as I read that you can’t be with people in a right way, without being alone and of course you can’t be alone unless you’ve learned to be with people. What a conundrum this presented to me, back then, as it conflicted with my way of living.

Early in my first seminary year, like most theological students in my college, I had to spend my fare share of time in the cold, mysterious, but lovely little chapel that served as the spiritual centre of our live-in Christian community. Times spent in this rough-cut stone building and its garden of reflection, that surrounded the chapel, began to unhinge me from my dependence on things and my self-centered lifestyle. Times spent here, in solitude, began to teach me to live in the presence of God so that I could be with people in a way that helped them, rather than manipulating them to meet my needs, wants or desires.

As part of community life in those days, we had these two-day silent retreats. A bit hard when you’re married with 2 very young children; but once you stepped outside your married quarters, it was compulsory silence all day. The silence was thick as it hung across our little community. It wrapped around you like a blanket. Most of time it was manageable, but the late evening silence in our lovely little chapel was alive, big – ubiquitous. I often felt during those times, intimidated as we spent time together in silence. However this first year of college began to help me set in place, some key spiritual disciplines, one of which was the discipline of solitude – a hard lesson for a talker; one who had a loved to be liked personality.

However, in these times of deep solitude, I learnt how to unhook myself from the compulsion to climb, push and shove. I began to experience a touch of the master’s hand, in how to become a little more like Jesus – to pick up the ‘basin and towel’, as Jesus demonstrated to His disciples and learn to serve without thought of recognition or reward. Solitude began to shape my inner-man, as I learnt to love the ways of God and encounter the cosmic patience of God.

In Isaiah we read that God says, ‘Your ways are not my ways,’ it then goes on to describe how God’s ways are like the rain that comes down and waters the earth. Rain comes down and just disappears into the ground, and then up comes fresh new life – vibrant, full of colour and potential.

It’s this type of patience that has greatly influenced my spiritual identity. I began, in these times of solitude, to not be so uptight about life and the many issues that I was facing, as a young married Christian husband and father. Those times brought clarity into my life, as I focused on His Word and prayer, understanding that God was in charge and as I handed my life daily over to Him, He was more than able.

I learnt that He’s got the whole world in His hands – that included my little bit as well. Since those early days in this Christian community, silence and solitude have played a big part in my walk with God – they still do; such times give me that sense of the presence and closeness of the living God, speaking to and seeking after me.

To be continued in my next blog.